We all need a little lift in our lives. Gritty reality is hard to take all of the time. Crawling out of bed at the shrill of the alarm, waiting for the bus, sitting on the overcrowded train with someone who's just eaten onions breathing down your neck, trying to make the kids see reason, overhauling your budget. All of these things need to be pushed into the background once in a while. We need to sit down and read something which makes us laugh, makes us cry and has a happy ending. The story of Cinderella is a perfect example. There she is, working in the kitchen, despised by her step-sisters, ignored by her step-mother, no one to love her. Awwww. And then she gets the chance to go to a ball. And - disaster - she loses a slipper (it is actually not a glass slipper but a green slipper, the translation from French to English mixed up the French word for glass verre with the word for green vert as they are both pronounced similarly in French). Prince Charming searches for her, and lo and behold, the slipper he found fits Cinderella and they both live happily ever after. We return to our normal routine with a smile on our faces.
Of course we all know that not everything ends happily and there are plenty of stories out there which do not finish with the hero and heroine setting off in the golden coach to a life of complete happiness. We know that a certain amount of conflict is necessary to live successful lives. Often, in the past, when confronted with numerous tricky situations at work, I'd ask myself if what I wanted was a quiet, uneventful 9 to 5 job or the hurly burly of a multitude of challenges and problems to be solved which is what I had! I can tell you the hurly burly won out!
Supposing Cinderella just went to the ball and met Prince Charming and they got together straight away? It would be a dull story. Writers introduce conflict into stories, that is part of the craft of writing. Will Jack and Jill end up together or will something interfere and separate them for good? When we start reading Romance, we expect a happy ending and it is the skill and the task of the author to keep us interested in how things turn out, how the conflicts are resolved.
These are the ideas behind the two romance novels I have written. I recently met one of my readers who told me how much she enjoyed my novels. "Real page-turners" she said. I don't know a nicer compliment - it made my day!
Thursday, 24 May 2018
Wednesday, 18 April 2018
Tales from the Kitchen
Do you like cooking? I have to admit that for years I absolutely hated it. If I ever tried to follow a recipe it never came out looking anything like the appealing photo accompanying it.
When I first got married (too long ago to tell you just how long!) there were a few cookery books giving practical advice for family meals. They were geared to the woman who stayed at home (mostly) and involved a lot of elbow grease to prepare - at least as far as I was concerned. Nowadays, of course, you have your "meals in 30 minutes" recipes and loads of idea for unconventional ways to prepare food. And you have far more aids to cooking in the local supermarket.
My mother made her own almond icing and I still think it is the tastiest part of the Christmas cake. She had no weighing scales as far as I remember. I think she used a particular sized cup instead. She had no electric whisk and spent ages beating the butter and sugar using a wooden spoon. We all had a turn and I remember how my arms ached after so much work. The Christmas cake was rich in raisins and currants and mixed peel. The Christmas pudding was equally rich and here she added Guinness and whiskey as well. The aroma filled the kitchen and stayed for days and was part and parcel of that feverish anticipation of the feast to come. We were all allowed to stir the Christmas pudding and to make a wish. I don't remember if my wishes ever came true, I think not.
All of these memories came back to me when I started writing my Christmas novel. Christmas was and still is my favourite time of year. It is family time, a time for sharing. So when I started writing Christmas Wishes (that's the provisional title or working title as writers call them) I conjured up all those feelings I had about coming home for the holidays. In my novel, everyone has a secret wish or a problem to be resolved. As so often happens, a character intruded on my story and changed the original plot somewhat. That is the fun of writing. Once you have started, the characters come alive and go their own way. I have finished the first draft and I have many revisions and edits ahead of me before I am finished. I always think story writing is like opening a door in your head and there is a completely different world with all these people whose tales need to be told and who contribute their own share to shaping your story. Writing is magic.
When I first got married (too long ago to tell you just how long!) there were a few cookery books giving practical advice for family meals. They were geared to the woman who stayed at home (mostly) and involved a lot of elbow grease to prepare - at least as far as I was concerned. Nowadays, of course, you have your "meals in 30 minutes" recipes and loads of idea for unconventional ways to prepare food. And you have far more aids to cooking in the local supermarket.
My mother made her own almond icing and I still think it is the tastiest part of the Christmas cake. She had no weighing scales as far as I remember. I think she used a particular sized cup instead. She had no electric whisk and spent ages beating the butter and sugar using a wooden spoon. We all had a turn and I remember how my arms ached after so much work. The Christmas cake was rich in raisins and currants and mixed peel. The Christmas pudding was equally rich and here she added Guinness and whiskey as well. The aroma filled the kitchen and stayed for days and was part and parcel of that feverish anticipation of the feast to come. We were all allowed to stir the Christmas pudding and to make a wish. I don't remember if my wishes ever came true, I think not.
All of these memories came back to me when I started writing my Christmas novel. Christmas was and still is my favourite time of year. It is family time, a time for sharing. So when I started writing Christmas Wishes (that's the provisional title or working title as writers call them) I conjured up all those feelings I had about coming home for the holidays. In my novel, everyone has a secret wish or a problem to be resolved. As so often happens, a character intruded on my story and changed the original plot somewhat. That is the fun of writing. Once you have started, the characters come alive and go their own way. I have finished the first draft and I have many revisions and edits ahead of me before I am finished. I always think story writing is like opening a door in your head and there is a completely different world with all these people whose tales need to be told and who contribute their own share to shaping your story. Writing is magic.
Tuesday, 10 April 2018
Romancing the Royals
I paid a visit to the Big City today. Not for shopping, I'm afraid. I needed to collect my orthopaedic insoles (you can't get less romantic than that!). Well, to be honest, I did buy a pair of trousers in a beige colour which will go with just about everything in my wardrobe. In order to do so, I had to make a pact with myself to donate a pair of grey trousers to the charity shop which I will do tomorrow, word of honour!
Anyway, while I was trekking around I stopped in front of the magazine rack in one of the department stores. Nearly every magazine had a picture of a smiling Meghan Markle on the front cover, sometimes with Prince Harry, sometimes on her own. It got me thinking (beginner's luck, I can hear you chuckle), but no, seriously. What is our fascination with royalty? The days when we believed that once Cinderella was safe in the arms of Prince Charming, she was going to be happy, happy, happy seem like a long time ago. Do we still believe that? Isn't it far more likely that the princess-to-be will be hounded by the papparazzi, criticized if she makes what is perceived as a mistake in her choice of wardrobe, and watched like a hawk for any breath of discord between her and the royal family. In my opinion, Meghan Markle has to be one of the bravest women this year.
Yes, I'll be watching the wedding on television and wiping away a tear (perhaps). I've watched all the European royal weddings over the years and wallowed in the glamour. And isn't it nice that, just like the rest of us, even the royals have aunts and great-aunts who are a teeny bit eccentric?
I wish Princess-to-be Meghan and Prince Harry all the happiness in the world.
Anyway, while I was trekking around I stopped in front of the magazine rack in one of the department stores. Nearly every magazine had a picture of a smiling Meghan Markle on the front cover, sometimes with Prince Harry, sometimes on her own. It got me thinking (beginner's luck, I can hear you chuckle), but no, seriously. What is our fascination with royalty? The days when we believed that once Cinderella was safe in the arms of Prince Charming, she was going to be happy, happy, happy seem like a long time ago. Do we still believe that? Isn't it far more likely that the princess-to-be will be hounded by the papparazzi, criticized if she makes what is perceived as a mistake in her choice of wardrobe, and watched like a hawk for any breath of discord between her and the royal family. In my opinion, Meghan Markle has to be one of the bravest women this year.
Yes, I'll be watching the wedding on television and wiping away a tear (perhaps). I've watched all the European royal weddings over the years and wallowed in the glamour. And isn't it nice that, just like the rest of us, even the royals have aunts and great-aunts who are a teeny bit eccentric?
I wish Princess-to-be Meghan and Prince Harry all the happiness in the world.
Friday, 23 March 2018
Writing Again
This post is long overdue! First of all, I was away in Germany for Christmas and then I went down with a virus over New Year. Once back on my feet, I found myself in the middle of moving home. A few years ago, I downsized when moving to Ireland. Now I needed to downsize again as I have moved to a one-bed apartment from a spacious two-bed. I had been using the spare room as an office and also somewhere to dump everything until I figured out what to do with it. This is the view from that room where you can see the estuary.
Actually, since taking this photo, the old buildings have been demolished to make way for a new supermarket.
So here I am, settling in to my new surroundings and enjoying it all. Instead of the sea on my doorstep, I have a garden view from the living room window (which is where I write). Yes, I miss the close proximity to the sea but it is only a five-minute walk away.
Now that I am finally getting back to routine, I have started writing again. I am currently working on a Christmas-themed novel. It is getting more difficult to imagine those dark winter evenings when outside my window the birds are twittering to welcome spring, the daffodils are creating splashes of colour and the days are getting longer. Which reminds me, I must get down to writing. I try to produce 1,000 to 2,000 words a day even though I might delete them all again or edit out half of them. But that's the writer's trade as every scribe will confirm.
I wish all my readers a fun weekend.
So here I am, settling in to my new surroundings and enjoying it all. Instead of the sea on my doorstep, I have a garden view from the living room window (which is where I write). Yes, I miss the close proximity to the sea but it is only a five-minute walk away.
Now that I am finally getting back to routine, I have started writing again. I am currently working on a Christmas-themed novel. It is getting more difficult to imagine those dark winter evenings when outside my window the birds are twittering to welcome spring, the daffodils are creating splashes of colour and the days are getting longer. Which reminds me, I must get down to writing. I try to produce 1,000 to 2,000 words a day even though I might delete them all again or edit out half of them. But that's the writer's trade as every scribe will confirm.
I wish all my readers a fun weekend.
Wednesday, 14 February 2018
Happy Endings and Falling in Love (Revised Valentine's Day Post)
You are never too old to fall in love. That is the best thing about love between two people. I enjoy reading about seniors deciding to get married and be together for the "remains of the day" if you'll pardon the quote.
I like happy endings. I am not keen on all those gut-wrenching, tear-inducing stories which end badly. I gave up enjoying those many years ago! Now, I like my love stories to end with two people finding each other.
The inspiration for my first "romantic" novel - although I prefer to call these novels contemporary women's fiction - was a grandmother in a women's group I was chairing. She was so busy looking after her grandkids and worrying about her children, that I felt - foolishly I daresay - that she was missing out. This train of thought led me to ask, as most writers do, "what if?" What if she suddenly, or even gradually, decided she wanted to do something out of character? How would her family react? How would she cope when she left her comfort zone? And so the novel LOVE AT A LATER DATE was born. It tells the story of two friends, Ginny and Deirdre, no longer young, grandmothers, who are suddenly faced with a huge upheaval which forces them to re-think their lives.
I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope this is mirrored in the novel itself. I have had a lot of feedback from readers, two of whom recently told me they sat up reading all night as they just had to find out what happened. Praise like that is music to a writer's ears, believe me!
Of course I had to follow this with the second novel, LOVE AT CLOSE RANGE, which is Deirdre's story and, if my readers are to be believed, was just as enjoyable as LOVE AT A LATER DATE.
LOVE AT A LATER DATE will be free on Kindle from this Friday until Monday.
I like happy endings. I am not keen on all those gut-wrenching, tear-inducing stories which end badly. I gave up enjoying those many years ago! Now, I like my love stories to end with two people finding each other.
The inspiration for my first "romantic" novel - although I prefer to call these novels contemporary women's fiction - was a grandmother in a women's group I was chairing. She was so busy looking after her grandkids and worrying about her children, that I felt - foolishly I daresay - that she was missing out. This train of thought led me to ask, as most writers do, "what if?" What if she suddenly, or even gradually, decided she wanted to do something out of character? How would her family react? How would she cope when she left her comfort zone? And so the novel LOVE AT A LATER DATE was born. It tells the story of two friends, Ginny and Deirdre, no longer young, grandmothers, who are suddenly faced with a huge upheaval which forces them to re-think their lives.
I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope this is mirrored in the novel itself. I have had a lot of feedback from readers, two of whom recently told me they sat up reading all night as they just had to find out what happened. Praise like that is music to a writer's ears, believe me!
Of course I had to follow this with the second novel, LOVE AT CLOSE RANGE, which is Deirdre's story and, if my readers are to be believed, was just as enjoyable as LOVE AT A LATER DATE.
LOVE AT A LATER DATE will be free on Kindle from this Friday until Monday.
Friday, 12 January 2018
Reading books over again
I am currently reading - and crying over - Little Women, the classic by Louisa May Alcott. I don't care to count the many years since I first read it but I am surprised that I still know most of it by heart.
I was annoyed the other day by a TV/film critic commenting on a screen version of the story and saying it was about the "loves and jealousies" of four sisters. Now that I think is not what it is about. It is based on Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan and is basically no different from other books and stories of the present day which try to show unobtrusively - and obtrusively in some cases! - that money doesn't make us happy, that helping others is good for us and that we should not judge too harshly or feel too complacent about ourselves. In other words, we should count our blessings. I am inclined to think that this point of view is as relevant today as it was when Little Women was written.
I remember how much I enjoyed it as a 12-year old. I was given the book as a birthday present and was very doubtful that it was my kind of novel as I was somewhat of a tomboy and preferred boys' adventure stories, especially the ones about animals. I had read White Fang and the Call of the Wild among countless now-forgotten stories which I devoured as a child. A book about four sisters - almost too good to be true in my opinion - was not the stuff which would attract me.
I remember that my mother read the book aloud to me and my sister (my brother listened in while pretending not to!). I liked Jo, I remember, because she was unconventional and a tomboy like me - not that I wanted to be a boy but I did find their pursuits infinitely more interesting than playing with dolls. And I had already started to write stories, so I felt Jo and I had some things in common. Of course I would have loved to have had a friend like Laurie Lawrence!
Although I found Meg a bit irritating, I loved the chapter where she went to stay with Annie Moffat and got her first taste of "fine" society. And I liked the bit where Jo was so angry with Amy for tearing up one of her manuscripts and learned to forgive. This made the characters believable to me.
I'm not sure I learned any of the splendid lessons contained within the pages of the novel but as I read it now and wipe away a tear or two, I can understand what made it a classic and I have no doubt that I will take it out and re-read it at some future date and enjoy it almost as much as the first time I read it.
I was annoyed the other day by a TV/film critic commenting on a screen version of the story and saying it was about the "loves and jealousies" of four sisters. Now that I think is not what it is about. It is based on Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan and is basically no different from other books and stories of the present day which try to show unobtrusively - and obtrusively in some cases! - that money doesn't make us happy, that helping others is good for us and that we should not judge too harshly or feel too complacent about ourselves. In other words, we should count our blessings. I am inclined to think that this point of view is as relevant today as it was when Little Women was written.
I remember how much I enjoyed it as a 12-year old. I was given the book as a birthday present and was very doubtful that it was my kind of novel as I was somewhat of a tomboy and preferred boys' adventure stories, especially the ones about animals. I had read White Fang and the Call of the Wild among countless now-forgotten stories which I devoured as a child. A book about four sisters - almost too good to be true in my opinion - was not the stuff which would attract me.
I remember that my mother read the book aloud to me and my sister (my brother listened in while pretending not to!). I liked Jo, I remember, because she was unconventional and a tomboy like me - not that I wanted to be a boy but I did find their pursuits infinitely more interesting than playing with dolls. And I had already started to write stories, so I felt Jo and I had some things in common. Of course I would have loved to have had a friend like Laurie Lawrence!
Although I found Meg a bit irritating, I loved the chapter where she went to stay with Annie Moffat and got her first taste of "fine" society. And I liked the bit where Jo was so angry with Amy for tearing up one of her manuscripts and learned to forgive. This made the characters believable to me.
I'm not sure I learned any of the splendid lessons contained within the pages of the novel but as I read it now and wipe away a tear or two, I can understand what made it a classic and I have no doubt that I will take it out and re-read it at some future date and enjoy it almost as much as the first time I read it.
Friday, 5 January 2018
HAPPY NEW YEAR WITH OR WITHOUT RESOLUTIONS!
Happy New Year to all my readers!
No sooner have the festive celebrations finished than we are confronted with those New Year resolutions we made: no alcohol for the month of January, go on a diet, get fit, take up a hobby.
It all looks pretty daunting by the second week of January!
I don't make New Year resolutions any more. I used to. They were nearly always about giving up smoking and/or chocolate. They didn't last. I did give up smoking over eleven years ago but that was due to the realisation that when I retired I wouldn't be able to afford cigarettes. Alan Carr's book on stopping smoking was a tremendous help. And I didn't tell anybody about my intentions - my family didn't even notice, so I mustn't have been grumpy. But it wasn't a "put out the last cigarette at one minute to midnight" affair. I actually smoked my last cigarette at around lunch time on a Saturday afternoon - I remember checking in the morning and thinking, "OK, four cigarettes left, when they're gone, that's it." It was easier than I had thought it would ever be - and I had plenty of practice having stopping smoking when I got married and during my two pregnancies.
Is it worthwhile making resolutions we won't keep? Know thyself! If you are one of those people with a will of iron, then go for it. You'll succeed. I am definitely not disciplined so there's no point in torturing myself. Yes, I will try to lose a few more pounds in weight this year, but I will do it gradually by tweaking my eating habits.
I do have a goal this year. I intend writing a Christmas story, a family story, which I want to publish for Christmas 2018 (I nearly said "this" Christmas but it's next Christmas, isn't it!!)
Wherever you are, New Year resolutions or not, I wish you a good start in 2018!
No sooner have the festive celebrations finished than we are confronted with those New Year resolutions we made: no alcohol for the month of January, go on a diet, get fit, take up a hobby.
It all looks pretty daunting by the second week of January!
I don't make New Year resolutions any more. I used to. They were nearly always about giving up smoking and/or chocolate. They didn't last. I did give up smoking over eleven years ago but that was due to the realisation that when I retired I wouldn't be able to afford cigarettes. Alan Carr's book on stopping smoking was a tremendous help. And I didn't tell anybody about my intentions - my family didn't even notice, so I mustn't have been grumpy. But it wasn't a "put out the last cigarette at one minute to midnight" affair. I actually smoked my last cigarette at around lunch time on a Saturday afternoon - I remember checking in the morning and thinking, "OK, four cigarettes left, when they're gone, that's it." It was easier than I had thought it would ever be - and I had plenty of practice having stopping smoking when I got married and during my two pregnancies.
Is it worthwhile making resolutions we won't keep? Know thyself! If you are one of those people with a will of iron, then go for it. You'll succeed. I am definitely not disciplined so there's no point in torturing myself. Yes, I will try to lose a few more pounds in weight this year, but I will do it gradually by tweaking my eating habits.
I do have a goal this year. I intend writing a Christmas story, a family story, which I want to publish for Christmas 2018 (I nearly said "this" Christmas but it's next Christmas, isn't it!!)
Wherever you are, New Year resolutions or not, I wish you a good start in 2018!
Monday, 18 December 2017
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY READERS!
The time has just flown and I haven't got around to writing a new post. Although I shall be away for Christmas visiting my daughter and her family in Germany, I still seem to have had a lot of things to buy. I am celebrating New Year with some friends and as I won't be back home until 30th December, I really needed to get a few things organised for that celebration.
I have nearly finished my packing. I am just taking a carry on bag as usual and it is always a bit of a struggle to cram everything in - especially as I get presents for my daughter's kids given to me to take to Germany. Travel light is my motto, and really I can buy almost anything that I might forget to pack and need (like deodorant or a toothbrush) when I get there. I am looking forward to meeting up with former colleagues, drinking mulled wine at the Frankfurt Christmas market and catching up on all the news, the triumphs and disasters of my grandchildren. What a wonderful time Christmas is!
So a big HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all my readers. I wish you all a peaceful, joy-filled time.
I have nearly finished my packing. I am just taking a carry on bag as usual and it is always a bit of a struggle to cram everything in - especially as I get presents for my daughter's kids given to me to take to Germany. Travel light is my motto, and really I can buy almost anything that I might forget to pack and need (like deodorant or a toothbrush) when I get there. I am looking forward to meeting up with former colleagues, drinking mulled wine at the Frankfurt Christmas market and catching up on all the news, the triumphs and disasters of my grandchildren. What a wonderful time Christmas is!
So a big HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all my readers. I wish you all a peaceful, joy-filled time.
Monday, 4 December 2017
Christmas Markets in Germany
I must admit that I love Christmas. I love all the excitement leading up to it. When I lived in Germany I found that Advent, the four week period leading up to Christmas, was one of the most heart-warming seasons I had ever experienced. My local town held their Christmas market on the first weekend in Advent. The local clubs set up stalls selling mulled wine and all kinds of foods: pancakes, hot dogs, waffles. This was hugely important to the clubs in financing their various activities for the coming year. Sometimes their very existence depended on the amount of money they made. There were other stalls, of course, which sold hand crafted Christmas ornaments, knitwear, gloves, scarves.
The weather was usually cold and I remember my feet feeling like blocks of ice. Neighbours and acquaintances were to be met with strolling among the various stalls, noses red from the cold, scarves nearly up to their eyebrows. We would sometimes linger to chat near where chestnuts were being roasted in order to get some warmth from the fire.
If I close my eyes I can get the aroma of mulled wine, gingerbread and cinnamon and I can taste the rösti, hot from the pan, just the thing to warm one up. Rösti is a Swiss dish consisting mainly of potatoes and is absolutely delicious.Originally Swiss farmers in the Bern region ate rösti for breakfast but nowadays it is very popular in Europe. It is easy to make.
Here's the recipe if you'd like to try:
Grate raw potatoes very finely (allow 2 big potatoes per person roughly), sprinkle with salt, melt two generous spoonfuls of butter in a frying pan, add the grated potatoes, press together to form a fritter, and fry on both sides until golden brown. Cut into portions and serve with apple sauce. Delicious. If you like, you can top it with a slice of cheese and pop under the grill to melt.
I will be in Germany this Christmas in time for the last of the Christmas markets. And yes, I will eat rösti and have a mug or two of mulled wine. It all tastes so much nicer under a frosty German sky.
Thursday, 2 November 2017
The Smallest Room - Facilitating the Facilities
Many years ago I visited Amsterdam with my daughter, and as I have a (somewhat) weak bladder, I needed to find a toilet, a public one if possible or failing that, to use the facilities in a restaurant or cafe. We ended up having coffee and cake which we didn't want in a cafe where the rest rooms were watched over by a burly lady who ensured that everyone paid 50c to use them. Not that I mind paying for using the toilet, far from it. It is just that so many eateries have those big scary signs which say "for patrons only" and well, when a girl's gotta wee, she's gotta wee somehow or other, even if she doesn't want to buy a coffee which will only make her want to wee again in an hour's time.
I was therefore intrigued to learn what the city of Bremen in North Germany is doing in this regard. They have a scheme entitled "Nette Toilette" which translated means "nice toilet" and you can use the rest rooms of any restaurant or cafe which has a sticker to this effect in the window. You are not obliged to buy anything. Wow! I wish more cities had this feature, it would save me many a frantic search. Participating restaurants and cafes get paid between €50 and €100 a month for providing this facility. A spokesperson for the city said that Bremen saves around €450,000 per year on the scheme compared to the upkeep of public toilets which were not always as clean as could be desired. From the point of view of the restaurants and cafes, it does direct more traffic to their premises even if not everyone actually sits down for a meal or a coffee. You can even download an app with a map of all the locations!
Click here if you understand German or simply want to view the map of free toilets in Bremen.
Bremen's free toilets (in German)
If you scroll down you will find a map giving the locations of the free toilets Nette Toilette
This would be such a boon to me when I embark on my Christmas shopping next month. It's all psychological, I guess, but the knowledge that there are toilets easily reachable will be one of the main comforts to all that trekking around the shops!
I was therefore intrigued to learn what the city of Bremen in North Germany is doing in this regard. They have a scheme entitled "Nette Toilette" which translated means "nice toilet" and you can use the rest rooms of any restaurant or cafe which has a sticker to this effect in the window. You are not obliged to buy anything. Wow! I wish more cities had this feature, it would save me many a frantic search. Participating restaurants and cafes get paid between €50 and €100 a month for providing this facility. A spokesperson for the city said that Bremen saves around €450,000 per year on the scheme compared to the upkeep of public toilets which were not always as clean as could be desired. From the point of view of the restaurants and cafes, it does direct more traffic to their premises even if not everyone actually sits down for a meal or a coffee. You can even download an app with a map of all the locations!
Click here if you understand German or simply want to view the map of free toilets in Bremen.
Bremen's free toilets (in German)
If you scroll down you will find a map giving the locations of the free toilets Nette Toilette
This would be such a boon to me when I embark on my Christmas shopping next month. It's all psychological, I guess, but the knowledge that there are toilets easily reachable will be one of the main comforts to all that trekking around the shops!
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
Best Friends Forever
"A man should keep his friendships in constant repair" a quote from Samuel Johnson which is as true today as it was in his time. How do you keep your friendships in repair? You meet someone, find you have a lot in common and see each other regularly. Then they or you move away. After a while telephone calls become less frequent. If you are of my generation, you still write a Christmas card and a letter, long or short, which tells what you have been doing since last year's card. You'll still be in touch but if you were to meet up there might be awkward silences. Yes, I am guilty of this, too.
I was reminded of this recently when an old friend phoned me. We had shared a flat in London for a few years. I don't keep in touch with her regularly. And yet we chatted as if we had seen each other only yesterday. It's the same with another friend of mine, who I only meet or phone periodically. Yet, we have no difficulty in continuing where we let off in our conversation of last time. Again, she is someone I shared a flat with many years ago.
Under normal circumstances I would never have formed a friendship with either of these two women. We are totally dissimilar. If we had met at a party, we'd have most likely exchanged small talk and moved on. But we were thrown together when we shared a flat. I have shared a flat with many different people. It was inevitable. Flatmates got married, moved away and I got married myself. So what kept these two friendships alive all these years (too many years to admit to it!!) ? My two friends live in different countries and do not know each other. They probably would not even gel if they were introduced.
I don't really have an explanation. Perhaps it is because we shared a few ups and downs in our lives. Perhaps we resonated, deep down, with each other. Because, with one or two exceptions, I have not kept up with any of the other flatmates I had. Certainly I have not the same feeling of friendship towards them.
True friendship is not based on similarity, it would appear. Maybe it is based on sincerity, on being interested in one another's happiness. On being there if the other person wants to pour her/his heart out. I added "his" because men can make great friends, too. It is just that I have never shared a flat with a male and thus cannot give any opinion on forming friendships in that context.
In my novels LOVE AT A LATER DATE and LOVE AT CLOSE RANGE, Ginny and Deirdre are close friends although they are totally different from each other in outlook. They have each other's welfare very much at heart. We all know that such friendships are rare and all the more precious for that.
Maybe we should let our friends know how much we care about them once in a while.
I was reminded of this recently when an old friend phoned me. We had shared a flat in London for a few years. I don't keep in touch with her regularly. And yet we chatted as if we had seen each other only yesterday. It's the same with another friend of mine, who I only meet or phone periodically. Yet, we have no difficulty in continuing where we let off in our conversation of last time. Again, she is someone I shared a flat with many years ago.
Under normal circumstances I would never have formed a friendship with either of these two women. We are totally dissimilar. If we had met at a party, we'd have most likely exchanged small talk and moved on. But we were thrown together when we shared a flat. I have shared a flat with many different people. It was inevitable. Flatmates got married, moved away and I got married myself. So what kept these two friendships alive all these years (too many years to admit to it!!) ? My two friends live in different countries and do not know each other. They probably would not even gel if they were introduced.
I don't really have an explanation. Perhaps it is because we shared a few ups and downs in our lives. Perhaps we resonated, deep down, with each other. Because, with one or two exceptions, I have not kept up with any of the other flatmates I had. Certainly I have not the same feeling of friendship towards them.
True friendship is not based on similarity, it would appear. Maybe it is based on sincerity, on being interested in one another's happiness. On being there if the other person wants to pour her/his heart out. I added "his" because men can make great friends, too. It is just that I have never shared a flat with a male and thus cannot give any opinion on forming friendships in that context.
In my novels LOVE AT A LATER DATE and LOVE AT CLOSE RANGE, Ginny and Deirdre are close friends although they are totally different from each other in outlook. They have each other's welfare very much at heart. We all know that such friendships are rare and all the more precious for that.
Maybe we should let our friends know how much we care about them once in a while.
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